Do You Need to Color?

I can remember a very stressful time in my life about 9 years ago. I was living in Boston and at the time was working 60 plus hours a week with a lot of challenges and a nasty commute. My brother, back in Texas, was having open-heart surgery. There was a 26 year-old intern sitting in the office next to me. I was sharing the difficulty I was having at not being able to be with my brother during his emergency surgery. I didn't really tell her about any other stressors, but I guess my demeanor let her know more was up than I was letting on.

She looked at me without blinking and said, "I think you need to color."

Coloring. What a concept. I haven't colored since I was, maybe, ten years old. I used to love coloring. The outlined pictures lured me to give them life with my crayons and colored pencils. I don't think you could break my concentration when I was engaged in a good coloring.

I do remember one incident that was a defining moment for me, at least for the few days that followed. I didn't have to get professional help for it or anything, but I do remember the emotion that sprung from the incident.

I must have been around four or five years old at the most because of where we were living at the time. The picture choice of the moment was a lone tulip. I had managed to color the stem and leaves with such precision that no green was outside any part of a black line. Success! Now all I had to do was the same for the flower.

Perusing the color palette I chose a precise color of red that tickled my fancy. One petal colored. Two petals colored. A partial but third petal colored. I was swelling inside watching the tulip come to life.

"Denise," Mom came in from the next room asking me a question. My multi-tasking-time-management personality kicked in (yes, I was that way at pre-school age). I looked up to answer Mom but kept coloring. I remember my hand continuing to color what I thought was the same area, but when I looked back down, horrors! I could not believe my eyes. I had colored out of the lines.

I cannot tell you the depth of disappointment in myself for having chosen to continue coloring and not watch what I was doing. Thank goodness this experience did not stop me from coloring. I eventually turned the page and started all over.

I know a man who colored even as an adult to relieve tension after a long day's work. He even continued building lego gadgets as a stress reducer. A lot can be said for having much needed down time in this frenetic world. I watch news and world events and sometimes you can cut the tension with a knife. Sometimes it doesn't matter who is at fault, everyone seems like they need a time out. I don't say this to demean anyone's difficulty, but sometimes I think they just need to color.

Do something childlike today and watch the tension go away!

The Essence of God

I am literally speechless today thinking about the blessings God has poured out on us over this past year. The irony is that 2005 was our most trying year financially and jobwise. 2005 started out with a lot of hope as John's remodeling company, JPR Construcion, took off. We purchased 10 rentals and by mid-summer he decided that he was done purchasing and ready for a steady income again. We had 11 units total but ended up selling his first hands-on project by late Spring. In August half of our properties were not rented, John was still looking for fulltime work, and I was still barrelling down I-45 one hour and fifteen minutes one way to work three days a week. I was also training to be a legal scopist (proofreader for court reporters). Both of us were exhausted and wondering if the dreams that had been laid on our hearts years earlier would see any daylight.

By late August we leased a few more rentals leaving about two or three. Those were subsequently leased in September. One of our prayers was answered. We were just seeking a bit more stability with John's employment and I was looking to work from home.

In September John took a part-time job with Habitat for Humanity as an assistant construction manager, one of his many dream jobs. He supplemented his income working 3 days a week for a custom builder. By October John was full-time as Habitat construction manager taking his supervisor's place when he quit three weeks after John started. John felt a bit underqualified but applied for the position anyway. Habitat advertised and received 60 applications for the position, interviewed a handful of applicants, and after their analysis decided to hire John. Those days were filled with supplications and relinquishments to the Lord's will. Whatever the outcome we were prepared knowing God was with us.

I gave my notice to my company by mid-August seeking a departure date of September 30th. However, hurricane Rita hit on September 24th. I didn't leave my job until October 15th, but even then it was only one day a week for the last two weeks of employment. But a long drive is a long drive and emotionally I was ready to be working from home. My scoping business picked up in November and slowed for the holidays in December giving me enough time to plan our big family Christmas party, make gifts, and write a Christmas letter as I had skipped last year.

These are good days indeed, but I know they can turn on a dime. For all of the hoopla about "making a name" for oneself, "distinguishing" oneself, or being "successful" I feel like I am there. Not the kind of notoriety that would get published in tomorrow's news or given an award, but the kind that says "you may lay your head down and sleep tonight for tomorrow you must arise and fight the good fight again."

In the end progress is understanding the potter's will. It is a difficult thing to go through trials without Him, but a load worth bearing knowing that the trying of my will can only produce more good if He is the recipient of the glory. My body will pass as will my works, but may the essence of the life I have lived only say one thing, "God was here."